This included the abuse that I was a victim of from the time I was seven to the time I was eighteen.
I kept trying, though - both with the reporting to my chuch leaders and the activity that my brain told me I needed based on indoctrination.
I didn't go on a mission - for females, it wasn't a requirement of the church for me to go on a mission in the States or abroad. Instead, by the time I would have been sent on a mission, I was married, but soon to be divorced. That did not make me the best candidate for a representative of #The_One_True_Church, so I did not go on a mission.
But I was abused. And I reported my abuse - not to my parents, by to my bishops through the time that I was abused.
Again - that was ages 7 to 18. I didn't report the abuse that occurred from 7-13 until I was being checked into a hospital to anyone other than my bishop. Even my mother - who was committing me - didn't know about the abuse and got to hear the details during the inttake interview. I was 15. The only people I had told up to that point were the bishops that interviewed me and asked about my sex life and masturbation practices from 12 to 18.
Let me tell you: sex in any form - self-pleasuring, rape, or consensual sex - do not allow you to have a #temple_recommend in the #LDS_Church. The only way that I was able to participate in any temple ordinances was to say that it wasn't happening at the time.
And, while the LDS clergy are not trained in the literal seminary, they are appointed with "divine dicernment" that allows them to ask minors about their sexual and masturbation practices. Do I have trauma surrounding this? Absolutely. I refuse to let any of my children join any church until they are legal adults (when I no longer have any say in their choices), because of the things that I endured in the LDS Church.
Sure, I stayed an awful long tyime. Even longer than my last sexual assualt and even the birth of my first child, but I refuse to let *ANY* of my children be told that they are at fault with *ANYONE* hurts them: me, their dad, their other family members, their friends, their schoolmates, the friends of our family - *ANYONE*. *NO ONE* is allowed to hurt my kids the way I was hurt. No one. Period.
Don't try me.
I will *gladly* end up in a prison cell to protect my kids. Don't try me. I don't play those games. They will not hurt like I do or wonder what it was all for. It isn't for any good reason. No one is protected. It doesn't matter what the perp says - no one is protected.
Tell someone.
Tell me. I will stand next to you. No matter what. I will be there. I will believe you. I will hold your hand and you. I will be your strength, because everyone need that.
